Yesterday we looked at Paul’s letter to Philemon and how our fellowship of faith transforms our radically reconfigures our relationships. Even with those who have wronged us in some way, love compels us to receive the wholly and completely with open arms, tearing down any barrier that separates us. It pushes us to release others from bondage, whether that be literal or the shackles of our unfair expectations, begrudging attitudes, faulty assumptions, etc. Finally, we must do our part to repair the ruins, especially if we are the ones at fault. We must be willing to forgive and allow nothing to stand between us. Are you holding someone at arm's length? Are there certain people you need to reconcile with? Perhaps there are those whom you have not let in to your life in the first place because of some barrier or obstacle. It should not be so in Christ, let’s make efforts to radically reconfigure our relationships today.

Three quick tips:

1. Say something. Start a conversation. Silence just seems to make things worse. It creates a barrier and perpetuates the distance between individuals. It allows feelings to fester.
2. Don’t know what to say? How about, “I’m sorry for the ways that I contributed to the tension” or “I really care about you and deeply want our relationship to be restored”? Something that shows you are committed to the other person, the relationship, and making things right.
3. Get a mediator. Sometimes people need help coming back together. They need accountability to work it out in a fair and loving way. Their goal is not to be right but to make things right. Having a mediator, like Onesimus and Philemon has with Paul can really help to ease tensions, promote fruitful discussion, and keep both parties accountable to restoring the relationship.

Sunday morning we considered how a bunch of merchants, goldsmiths, perfumers, priests, and governors including men, women, and children joined together to rebuild a wall in ruins in the face of doubt and discouragement in Nehemiah 3 and 4. This story is instructive for us as we consider our own mission and the work God is accomplishing through us in the world. Here are 5 things we can do to combat discouragement, distraction, and doubt:

1. Take the lens off yourself. What inherent skill or ability did some businessmen, some religious workers, some department store employees, and community officials (to translate their occupations to the 21st century) to construct a wall that wouldn’t collapse on itself (Neh. 4;3)?! These were not construction workers, architects, or stonemasons. What chance did they have at success? They understood, what we desperately need to grasp: prosperity in our efforts depends on God (Neh. 2:20; 4:14, 15, 20). If our success in our mission hinges solely or primarily on our own ability or resources that is a pretty despairing place to be if we are department store employees tasked with building a fortified wall. Our perspective must not be on what we can’t do but in what He CAN do. Now, this is not to say that we don’t try to improve our resources or abilities to be better equipped for the work- indeed the people didn’t JUST pray that the work would get done they also got busy- but it is to say that our focus and our lens needs to be more on God and less on self. Praying for the mission is a great way to shift our focus from ourselves to our God (Neh. 4:9). Additionally, reading God’s word and reflecting on how He has worked in the past will give us confidence that He will continue to work in our present and future (Neh. 4:14). Perhaps, we ought to find a “mission motivation” verse or passage that encourages us to engage in the work. Memorize it. Internalize it. Recite it often. 
2. Block out sources discouragement. For whatever reason, it is the voices that vomit negativity that tend to echo loudest in our heads. Therefore, like the people in Nehemiah’s day, we must fight those voices back and block them out (Neh. 4:7-9). Again prayer is vital here as it severs as something of a barrier to insulate us from the negativity (Neh. 4:4-5, 9). But we might also need additional barriers of time and space between us and the negative voices (Neh. 4:13). We must resolve that we will not entertain those thoughts. We just don’t have the time or the energy to expend on those who are going to hinder us from our mission.
3. Join together with positive people. We won’t accomplish this work without the help of others who are at least as zealous and engaged, if not more so than we are. We must surround ourselves with people who have “a mind to work” (Neh. 4:6). With all of the negativity, we need some voices that will speak positivity into our circumstances. You know the type. They’re always able to put a positive spin on any situation. For these persons, it is more than a show of superficial spunk. It comes from a place of deep faith, one typically undergirded by a lifetime of experiences of God making something out of nothing.
4. Tap into your source of motivation. Perhaps the greatest counter to discouragement, aside from trusting in God, is to remind ourselves why we are engaging in the mission in the first place. For the wall workers, it was to protect their “brothers, their sons, their, daughters, their wives, and their homes” (Neh. 4:14). Our motivation is often much the same. The reason we engage in the mission of disciples making disciples is so that those we love, our friends, our family, our co-workers, and the people we don’t yet know but love all the same will know the peace, joy, love, hope, and blessings that we experience as children of God. Further, we engage in the mission because it is the means by which we begin to transform our families, our communities, and the world around us. Finally, we engage in the mission because through it, God’s wisdom and love are demonstrated and glorified. Perhaps it would be a good idea to write down personalized forms our motivation on a sticky note and place them on the front of our bibles or the corner of our screens, set reminders on our phones, or put them on our walls. Something to keep it in front of us always.
5. Strategize. In addition to blocking our sources of doubt, discouragement, and distraction in the moment, Nehemiah also had a strategy to combat these going forward (Neh. 4:15-23).  Putting all of this together, perhaps our strategy might look something like: “next time I face discouragement I will 1) stop and pray immediately 2) recite my “mission motivation” verse 3) get away from the source of discouragement 4) reach out to a positive source of encouragement 5) remind myself of why I’m engaging in the mission.

In Paul’s 2nd letter to the Thessalonians, Paul writes to encourage his readers to remain steadfast, or as we might sometimes say, “to keep on keeping on.” Part of Paul’s strategy in this is to praise what they were doing well such as their faith which continues to abound and their ever-increasing love for one another. Beyond praise, Paul also prays several times throughout the letter for God to continue to work in their lives. Paul’s understood that both the Thessalonians and God had a part to play in their continued steadfastness. For the Thessalonians’ part, Paul sought to prepare them for the journey. We might split this up into 3 categories: prepared minds, prepared hearts, and prepared hands.

Paul prepared their minds by reinforcing and reminding them of the truths that they needed to keep in keeping on. First, he reinforced to them that their suffering and affliction was not a sign that God had abandoned them rather that it was evidence of His acceptance of them (2 Thess. 1:5-12). They found themselves walking in the shoes of Paul, Jesus, and many other faithful saints of old who faced some level of persecution for following Christ. If we think that God has abandoned us our resolve will not last long. But if we know that He is still with us we have the confidence to keep pushing forward. Are we keenly aware of God’s presence even in the midst of hard times? Do we need to be reminded that God, as the faithful father, is always with us (2 Thess. 3:16-17)?

Paul also sought to prepare their minds by reminding them of the truth and traditions he had already taught them, particularly concerning the Day of the Lord. If they held firm to the teaching they would be prepared for the infinite number of deceptions and false teaching that would otherwise threaten to sweep them off their course. Do we have a firm grasp on what we have been taught? Are we constantly seeking to reinforce and grow in our knowledge of the truth (2 Thess. 2:14-15)?

Further, Paul saw the need to prepare the Thessalonians’ hearts (2 Thess. 2:16-17). He needed to prove their heart’s affections and inclinations because he understood that what we love determines how we live (2 These. 2:11-12). Part of how he hopes to prepare their hearts in this way is by reaffirming God’s love for them (2 Thess. 2:13, 16-17) so that they might reciprocate that same love toward Him and possess the steadfastness of Christ (2 Thess. 3:5). Ultimately it is those who fail to know God who will be separated from Him for eternity (2 Thess. 1:8-10). When the Biblical writers talk about knowing God, they are envision something much deeper than having an academic understanding of God, being able to engage in theological discussions, or knowing the answers to some Bible trivium. “Knowing” someone, in its full idiomatic employment, is how the Bible often expresses an intimate relationship. Do I have this type of relationship with my Father? Am I growing closer to Him each day? Is He at the center of our affections? Just as Paul reaffirmed the Thessalonians of God’s love for them, that love which produces love in us (1 Jn. 4:19), so too must we prepare our hearts by affirming, admiring, and at alarming ourselves with God’s love for us. Indeed, it is the type of love that alarms us, that wakes us from our stupor and excites our affections. Let us reflect on His love, His goodness, His kindness, His mercy, His grace, etc. constantly.

Finally, Paul wanted to prepare the Thessalonians’ hands. In fact, prepared hands, or actions, flow out of prepared minds and prepared hearts. It is those with hearts and minds set on a different course entirely that give themselves over to pleasure in unrighteousness (2 Thess. 2:11-12). Paul’s hope was that as they became steadfast in mind and heart that they would live accordingly (2 Thess. 2:15-17). They were to engage in good works and give themselves over to do what they had been commanded (2 Thess. 3:4-5). Furthermore, they were to continue to labor, doing honest work. This may take the shape of a 9-5 job, but in application, it is so much more than that. In whatever we are busy in, whether we receive a paycheck for it or not, we are to bring honor and glory to God. This was the example Paul and his companions gave the Thessalonians (3:1; 7-9) and it likewise serves as an example for us. Therefore, let us not grow weary in doing good, let us with prepared minds, and prepared hearts, prepare our hands to bring honor and glory to God (2 Thess. 1:11-12)!

In yesterday's lesson, we explored the story of Deborah in Judges 4-5 and made application to women who rise. Here is a summation and some further thoughts.

We often describe the book of Judges as a cycle of Rebellion, Oppression, Crying Out/Repentance/ and Deliverance. This is good as far as it goes. But this is just the surface level of the movement in Judges. As we read the book of it becomes clear that not only is this cycle repeated but there is also a downward trajectory to the whole book. Rather conceiving of it as a two-dimensional circle we should picture it as a three-dimensional cone. A downward spiral. Sort like a toilet bowl. Come to think of it, it is exactly like a toilet bowl. It is a fatal funnel of futility, a dumpster fire of depravity spiraling downward. It starts out bad. But things get much worse. This is a tragic screenplay on what it looks like when people forget their God, fail to teach future generations, and do what is right in their own eyes. But in all of this is a glimmer of light.

Deborah rises up as one of the few bright spots in the book. In a book where the people are often the picture of abject corruption, and many of their judges are deeply flawed individuals who are no better, Deborah serves as something of a steady rock for the people in her own day, and for readers in later generations. Though surely not perfect, she is described as “a mother in Israel” who rises to set right what is wrong among her people ( . 5:7). Deborah is able to affect great change not only because she was someone who rose up, but because she called others to rise up with her. She not only had control over her own self but also a great influence over others. She engaged Barak, the man whom God had appointed to deliver the people, by calling him out and calling him up and getting him started down the path to victory. She empowered him by going with him and giving him the confidence he needed to carry out the task. She encouraged him when the time came to go to battle by urging him to rise up and reminding him that God was with him and would give him victory. Great mothers and great leaders make those under their charge better.

But we encounter another significant woman in this story. She is a different flavor of the same sort. She is likewise a woman who rises to meet the occasion. She too steps up and does what needs to be done. But her role is far messier. Her name is Jael.

Before we ever encounter her, the text has already hinted at her emergence. In Judges 4:9 Deborah says that a woman will get the glory for victory over Sisera, the commander over the opposing forces. Now at first, we are to expect that Deborah is referring to herself and indeed victory does not come without her rising up to raise up Barak. But her last engagement in the plot is her encouraging Barak to go fight before the battle even begins, and then she disappears from the scene (Judg. 4:14). She has risen up primarily through her words, Jael would rise primarily through her actions.

The LORD routed Sisera, his armies and his chariots, by sending a great storm, flooding the Kishon river and turning the plains and the valleys into a marsh (Judg. 4:15-16; 5:4-5, 20-21). This likely caused the chariots to get stuck and break down throwing the armies of Sisera into chaos and confusion as their greatest strength was handicapped. The armies of Barak were then able to descend from the hills upon the Canaanite forces, routing them to the point of retreat.

As Sisera scurried from the battle, he stumbled upon the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber, his ally (Judg. 4:17). This should have been a place of sanctuary. According to the cultural milieu of the Ancient Near East and its attendant social conventions, Jael would have been expected to house and provide for Sisera. Anything less than a hospitable disposition and reception would have brought extreme reproach on her and her husband. All the signs of an amicable and hospitable reception are there. The call to turn aside and find sanctuary in the tent, the proffering of milk to not only quench his thirst but also to calm his mind, the covering with a rug/blanket as he lies down. All of this signifies a motherly reception. Meanwhile, Sisera’s own mother is anxiously waiting for him to come home. “Why is he delayed?” She wonders. “Surely, he’s is ok… Yes,” she comforts herself, “he must be dilly-dallying pillaging their towns and plundering their women. Silly boy. I’ll see you soon.”  Little does she know, Sisera lays dead, himself plundered, a tent spike driven through his head. Jael’s hand had done it in act of preposterous betrayal. A treacherous violation of social conventions, Jael’s hands are covered with her ally’s blood. Jael’s “mothering” role is much messier. We are not told what Jael’s motivations were. Was she, unlike her husband, sympathetic to the Israelite people? Did she disapprove of the soldiers and the chariots always about parading the streets? Was she just a cold-blooded killer with a disdain for men with foreign names? The text doesn’t say (we should note that even if her motivations are less than noble God certainly could have used her actions to accomplish His purposes). What the text does say, however, is that Jael “is most blessed of women” as Deborah praised and glorified her for her actions in rising up to do what needed to be done.

All of this points to another a great woman who rose to meet the occasion and became the source of deliverance, not only for her own people or the people in her own day but for all people. We are of course talking about Mary, the one who is likewise described as “blessed among woman” for the role she played in mothering the Messiah (Lk. 1:42). Instead of shying away from the great responsibility, or hesitating due to fear or uncertainty, as we are often wont to do, Mary accepts her role as the servant of the Lord, praises His goodness and submits herself to His purposes (Lk. 1:46-55). She rises in spite of the rumors and the gossip that accompany the scandal of a woman with child and no husband. She rises in spite of the uncertainty of what would come. She rises in spite of what she doesn’t understand about the process and how it would all work out.

May this impress upon us an overwhelming desire in us to rise and allow God to use us. May we go where He sends, may we rise when He calls, may we through our words and our actions, our disposition and our obedience be useful to God, fulfill His purposes, influence the world around us and affect change in our clans, our churches, and our communities! How can you rise up today?

(for another mothering connection, check out the allusion of Mary's song (Lk. 1:46-56) found in 1 Sam. 2:1-10 that Leigh pointed out in our Luke study.)

For more resources on the book of Judges, check out this series of studies by Philip Martin and Jared Saltz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzcQhL3Ryr0&list=PLS5rzDqthZy_gq5Qn9CUP06eihDn8jSsm 

Stretching Sunday’s Sermon:
We have endeavored this year to become a mission minded people. A people with a culture of speaking, showing and sharing the truth in love. Our mission is to bear witness to God’s work in this world and in our lives and testify to others the work He wants to accomplish in their lives as well. We mentor and model what it means to be a follower of Jesus. We call this process discipling. The heart of discipling however, is discipleship. We must first be people who are following after Jesus ourselves, learning from Him, coming to know Him and becoming more like Him in the process. The Apostle Paul gives a great insight into what discipleship looks like in Phil. 3:3-16, a never ending quest to know Jesus intimately, relationally, and experientially, never being satisfied with where he was and always longing to know him more. May that be our goal as disciples as well. Discipleship is not a destination, it is a direction. A never ending journey with Jesus to new heights of glory and awe. Our personal journey with Jesus is the platform from which we can invite others to travel with us and thus, discipleship is the heart and engine of discipling done well.

So how do we continue to grow in this relationship and become more and more like Jesus? One point we made yesterday was that relationships don’t grow when there’s no communication. If we want to know Him more we must be in constant contact and communication with Jesus. Part of how we do this is poring over the Word. When I see Jesus/God at work in Scripture I come to understand, to appreciate, and to love Him more. This is the primary reason why God has given us His word, not to prove ourselves right and others wrong, not to learn some facts of Biblical trivium, but to see God at work in this world and to be drawn in to Him.  And so we must be in the Word to see the God who is behind it, in it, through it, and its end or goal. This is what we looked at primarily yesterday, particularly with a view towards creating a habit of Bible reading.  To do this we applied some well-worn principles and wisdom about habit formation and behavior modification from James Clear, someone who has become something of an expert in this field, and who has aggregated the best ideas about habit formation in a book called Atomic Habits.

Every behavior we do is trying to solve some problem, fix some issue, fill some void. Many of these become habits whether consciously developed or not. Focusing on the cycle of behavior of “cue, craving, response, and reward,” Clear suggests one overriding principle and four laws of habit formation. The principle is that we must shape our identity. Who are we? Who are we trying to become? What type of person do we want our habits to reflect? Similar to Paul’s approach, in 1 Corinthians and some of his other writings, the gist is “become who you are.” Set your identity, and then form your habits in light of that. So for instance, “I am a disciple, someone who is in relationship with Jesus therefore, I will read to grow closer to Him each day.” The four laws that correspond to the cycle of behavior are: 1) Make it obvious 2) Make it appealing 3) Make it easy 4) Make it satisfying.

This morning I want us to apply these things to prayer. Not only must we as disciples pore over the Word, we must also pour ourselves out in prayer. Prayer is the other side of the communication bridge and a necessary part of developing our discipleship. Prayer helps us to be dependent on God (Matt. 6:11-13), helps shape our will to His (Matt. 6:10; 26:42), and if done right, gives us a window into our own hearts (consider the right way and the wrong way to pray in Lk. 18:9-14). All of this helps us to build our relationship and become more like Him.

So how can we applies the information about habit formation to prayer?
First, we must shape our identity. We are in a relationship with Jesus, we have come to know Him and He certainly knows us. Because of that we will regularly communicate to Him. We will share with Him our joy, our thanks, our love, our passion, our wants, our fears, our doubts, our anxieties, our days, our plans, and so much more. Try not talking with some people with whom you are in relationship. See what happens. (Entirely rhetorical, do not try this at home unless you want your relationships to fade/falter). I for one need to develop a more robust prayer life. It not that I never pray, but I could certainly do it more. Let’s grow in this together!

Applying the Laws:
1. Make it obvious: Have a specific and regular time and a place where you pray. “At X time I will pray,” “when I enter into Y location I will begin to pray.” This could be when you wake up, when you get in your car, as you’re walking from your car to your office. The possibilities are endless and determined ultimately by your context and circumstances. To that end we must shape our environment to fit our habit. If your plan is to pray while you drink your morning coffee, make sure you are doing that in a quiet place where you can focus. Don’t choose a time or place where you will have lots of distractions. One helpful way to make it obvious is to tie it to an obvious cue, like getting your coffee. “When I get my morning coffee I will pray,” “when I start my car I will begin to talk to God,” “when I turn on the shower I will bow my head,” etc. By tying it to a habit we are already doing we create an obvious space and cue that will help us to preform the habit on a regular basis.

2. Make it appealing: We might have a million and one reasons why we are too busy to pray right now. Too much to be concerned, with too busy, too much going on. Each of those is actually a reason to pray. I know it can be overwhelming at times to add one more thing to the plate. And when prayer becomes just something else in the long list of the things we have to get done today, it becomes a stressor rather than something we look forward to. We need to reframe the situation, instead of “I have to pray today…,” our disposition should be, “I get to talk to God today!” Instead of one more thing to get done our approach to prayer should be, “this is the one thing that sets up everything else I do today.” Instead of it being a source of stress, we should view it as an opportunity to release.

3. Make it easy: Well formed habits enable us to do difficult things easily and automatically. When something becomes habitual to us, it does not require near the amount of effort as trying to accomplish the same task by sheer willpower. Having said that however, hard habits must be formed. This takes intentional time and dedicated effort. Too often we start with where we’d like to end and get overwhelmed. If you have a goal of doing 100 pushups a day but haven’t done 100 pushups in your life time, you are going to need to start somewhere much lower and build up. Perhaps that means doing one pushup a day well until you’ve mastered the form. Perhaps that means starting on your knees. Doing one pushup every hour for 10 hours. We’ve all got to start somewhere. The same is true of prayer. We see Jesus praying all night, for hours and hours at a time. That’s where we’d like to be, but it’s not where we should start when we are trying to build a consistent habit. Start with 2 minutes of thought out, intentional prayer each day. Again this will vary from person to person depending on where you are at in your own prayer journey.  Besides starting smaller there are are a couple of other things we can do. We can prime our environment. This takes it one step further from the point we made about shaping earlier. For prayer this likely means getting mentally prepared. Perhaps we could use a prayer journal with some notes about the things we’d like to pray for, or writing out our prayers to make sure we say what we want to say. This should be an aid not a hinderance and so if the journal adds a level of difficulty that keeps you from the habit you are trying to form abandon it. The last way to make a habit easy that we will mention here is find a community where your habit is a normal and celebrated behavior. We are more likely to do something, if it is integrated in the culture we are a part of. This gives us accountability, identity and thus motivation to keep on doing it. Find a brother or sister that has an active prayer life and ask if you can pray together on occasion (not that I have arrived in this arena in any sense but I am certainly open to those who would like to get together over phone, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. and pray on occasion).

4. Make it rewarding: We are likely to repeat the habits from which we derive some reward and likewise to avoid those for which we are punished. With most good habits, the ultimate reward is in the distant future.  When it comes to working out, dieting, studying, writing, etc. the ultimate payoff is often not immediate. The same can be true with prayer, especially if it is a prayer where we are asking for something. God’s timing is not ours nor is our want always in line with His will. There are prayers we pray where we will never see the payoff we desire. Is prayer then a worthless pursuit? Absolutely not! First of all, there actually is an immediate reward of knowing that we have laid it at God’s feet. The process of pouring ourselves out can be cathartic because we know God is in control and is just, merciful, and cares deeply for us and our needs. We are calmer and more at peace, without even receiving the thing that caused us to pray in the first place. Additionally, we might want to add the habit of tracking our prayers. When we have accomplished our task, and have checked it off, we feel a sense of triumph and our brains actually reward us with dopamine (the reward chemical). It is the same thing that keeps you scrolling on Facebook for 20 minutes when you intended only to spend two, eat 10 Oreos (I can’t be the only one who has done this) when you purposed to eat just 1, etc. Having a streak going that you visible and tangibly check off can be a powerful motivator. These “little” rewards can go a long way into forming a life long habit.

Finally what do you do on a terrible, no-good, very bad day where everything goes wrong and the habit doesn’t get done? These days will happen, and the point is not to overreact and take an all or nothing approach and quit or to let days begin to string together. Your streak ended but you haven’t lost all that you gained. You are much closer to God because of the progress you’ve made. Further you are the type of person who prays regularly, and so you get back on the proverbial horse the next day, and start a new streak.

I hope these thoughts are helpful as we seek to grow in our prayer life, and in our journey with Jesus.